Just 4 little words about this,
Who pays the mortgage?
Helena, its sounds like a terrible situation. I feel sorry for the baby also. Are you and husband on agreement about this or does husband want to "do nothing" and take the abuse? Because this is abusive from son and DIL. Now you know its either their way or no contact, or so they threaten. The problem is not you and your house rules, the problem is people who do not respect the rules of another person's house and use them for free babysitting. So I guess you have two choices and you and husband will have to decide which you want to do. 1. Seems to be endure the abuse and their using you and your house for their own gain (free crash pad, free babysitting, free food probably) in order to keep seeing them. Or, 2. stand up for yourself, set boundaries for your house rules, and let them threaten and blow hard against you. Seems to me that choice #1 leads to anger within ourselves because we are allowing another person to bully us, put us down, and having arguments. Choice #2 may lead to sorrow as you are blown off and arguments as son and DIL tell you how wrong you are - But feelings of doing what is right for ourselves leads to higher self esteem and feeling good about ourselves for sticking up for ourselves. You can't make either son or DIL care more about other people's feelings, so this is where we have to decide how much abuse we will or will not take. Putting yourself first when another person is abusing you is always wiser than allowing the abuse. Good luck with this!
Recently my son (34) was asked by both his dad and I that when visiting for 6 days with his wife and new baby to not bring two inside dogs to our small 2 bedroom home. Background..... both son and daughter-in-law have anger and control issues and neither will be wrong. This leads to arguing and feeling uncomfortable in our own home. His dad has a serious heart condition. The young couple come to provide us with an opportunity to spend time with the baby while they leave each day for the day. The dogs are also given an opportunity to share the days with us (and be cared for) They return for supper. I am in my sixties but his dad is 78. He is very angry with me for asking that the dogs not be here and has said mean, cruel things as well as setting a new rule that they will not visit us if we will not accept the way they want to do it because the dogs (who bark shrill little barks often) are family. How do I deal with this?
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