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My fiance and I have been together 6 years and have 3 young kids
February 4, 2010
1:19 am

I forget to say, that he isn’t big on spending time with the kids too. He barely reads to them (he hates reading) hardly takes them to the park or anything. He works all week but so the least he could do is read them a story before bed. His idea of spending time with them is sitting on the couch watching sport and having them in the same room. Occasionally he might play cards with the eldest and come along to the playground but thats about it. How can I get him more involved. He even says things like “I hate reading” in front of the kids. I want them to grow up loving to read, but he isn’t being very helpfull. He also hates special occasions such as Christmas and Easter and all that and last year he didn’t even come with us to Christmas lunch. If this continues I’m not sure if I want to be with him. I love this guy, but he is so negative, boring and doesn’t help much with anything (apart from finances). I guess I should be greatfull for what he DOES do (and I am) but when he just sits around doing nothing on weekends while I am running around organising kids, cooking, cleaning etc etc and he doesn’t even OFFER to help it gets me in quite a bad mood. I don’t want to break up with him, but not sure I can stay with him if things don’t change.

February 4, 2010
1:19 am

Hi Joshua,
 My fiance and I have been together 6 years and have 3 young kids (5 years, 2 years and 4 months) and I really need help with getting him to help with housework and parenting tasks. Some days (not many though) if I ask nicely for help he might, but it depends what it is and if I don’t ask specifically what I want he won’t do it. He never thinks for himself. For example, I was bathing the two eldest kids and our 4 month old was in the loungeroom crying for his bottle. Why couldn’t he feed him? He wasn’t doing anything, I was busy. Then later that night I asked if he could help me fold some clothes, which he did. But then he just put them on the floor next to the couch (where he was sitting, watching the tv) when I said to him he should put them away now, his response was “but you didn’t tell me to do that” I guess I am luckier than some of the other posters here, he DOES help, but not as often as I’d like. But I get annoyed that I have to constantly ask if for it. I mean, will he ever just think for himself. He knows what time the kids go to bed, he knows their schedule and all that, he can see the washing piling up and the toys on the floor, why can’t he just think to do things???
We have had a few arguments in the passed about all this. Alot of the time I don’t want to be near him and have sex or whatever because I am so angry and frustrated. Not to mention exhausted. I am thinking about getting a part time job, working a few nights a week, but if I have to come home to more mess I’m not sure I can cope. Like I said, he does help with small things sometimes if I ask nicely, but surely he should be able to use his brain. He’s 31, not 5. I often feel as though I have 4 kids instead of 3.

Please help.

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