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Lazy absent husband and father
April 3, 2017
12:16 pm
Awaiting Moderation

January 9, 2014
6:02 pm

We have been married for more than 20 years and it is such a long story I will try to talk about more recent things.  My husband is lazy. He goes to work 5 days a week and is on call sometimes. I am a healthcare professional and work weekend nights and am in graduate school 4 days a week. ( He has a job without benefits and refuses to plan for the future.) He has started smoking over the past two years and smokes 1 ppd. I have asked him not to smoke in front of our children and friends, but he does anyways. He sleeps in his work clothes and refuses to take a shower and reeks of dirt and an ashtray. We cannot sit on the couch because he sleeps, eats, and watches games on his 70 inch TV that he bought himself.  When he does clean up a little, he takes the hand towel out of the bathroom and the hand soap, leans over the bathtub and washes his hair.  He doesn't know where his toothbrush is and probably hasn't used one in over a year unless I ask him to. When he comes home from work he doesn't check on our children, make sure they've done their homework, or prepare dinner. I get home at 8 pm and they haven't done their homework or eaten. The pets also need to be fed. He is a lazy husband and a lazy parent. He won't discipline our children EVER because it's too much work. I bough Xmas gifts for his family and asked him to ship them and he was too lazy to do so. He also will not return emails to his family or call them. I have asked them not to send anymore emails to me and have explained why. I set up an email account for him but he said,"I don't do email." I have painted every room in our home more than once because he won't nor will he change a lightbulb unless I am crying and begging. i have asked him to quit smoking, take care of himself or take medication and asked if he was depressed. This has been ongoing for sometime. I can't take it anymore. I have requested that we went to church to help our family, but when we went he made fun of the whole idea in front of our boys during services. He won't go to counseling.I have taught our boys how to ride their bikes, tie their shoes, and about sex, and life.  He has said nothing.  His family has never liked his behavior and we have been punished for it over the years. His sister came in town and needed to borrow a vehicle and my husband stated he had cleaned it out for their use. When they came to get it, it was a disgusting mess and they requested they I clean it out and sent me to the store to pick up oil. They then laughed. My husband was at work and I was embarrassed and humiliated. I don't what else to do than to divorce him.  I worry about my children. What can I do?

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