I am glad to have stumbled on the forum... i have been dealing with this burden for 13 years. in the early years it seemed like We could be a perfect team. he wasnt the richest and that was fine. I was working in financial services and he owned a business, I supported him with every thing I had. long story short. he is kind hearted and religious and wont hurt a fly. when i met him, he didn't drive cos he was just too scared, i felt he will overcome this in time. we had a child within few years of marriage and i noticed some changes to our sex life. so many reasons from not being ready, not knowing what to do, praying about things and fasting ... list is endless. I wanted to have all the kids in my youth and i was frustrated. I am almost 30 now and had a kid with one miscarriage, i felt i had to distract myself to stop thinking all the negative things so i buried myself further into work. this paid off cos i could save and save and even take care of me and my child and pretend he didnt exist for the time being. I also did so many things i shouldn't like carrying the financial weight solely and still lending him money which was never paid back. I was over the moon when after two years of having the baby I fell pregnant with our second child. I could forgive him for everything as my dreams of having another child is finally real. Now the main issues, It has been 11 years now after the second child and he is struggling with showing affection, finances (business packed up) and so much more. Living with him is torture because he seems such a sweet fellow with best intentions but wont even touch me. He is simply too scared. he cant get it up and when we got the blue pills, he is scared that if he takes it he might have cadiac arrest. I have tried to walk and still want to walk. His family is the sweetest and since he is the baby of the family they still send him money at age 50. I just turned 40 and i feel like I am wasting away and on the other hand selfish to think of a divorce when he does chores and little errands here and there.
I'm glad I'm not alone. But no one deserves to live like this. For the sake of the kids we have stayed together but is that even fair on them for me to be in this prison for them?
In desperation, I Googled Very Lazy Husbands and came upon your site. It has a few good suggestions, but I am doubtful they will change our circumstances. My husband hasn’t worked in the last two years and has only put his resume out twice. He sits in front of the tv and his computer all day and night. He does the grocery shopping. Period.
I work full time, have an editing contract business I work on 2-3 hours in the evening, and take in exchange students to supplement our income. It is still barely enough to make ends meet.
He gets a partial pension (he’s 54). We both ussed to work fulltime, but I always took care of the house and kids. I’ve heard all of the excuses other’s have, why he couldn’t help me after work and on weekends.
I feel so betrayed by him. I never would have married him if I knew he was like this. I am not a critical wife. I only mention the sorrow this has caused me once or twice a year to him. I have gone to counsellors, but have found no real solution.
I cannot understand why a healthy, able-bodied male could be so selfish and cruel to his wife. I am a Christian, or I’m sure I would’ve left him for someone else a long time ago. I am planning on leaving him in one year, when our last child leaves home for college. If he dies before I leave him, I will feel only one emotion: relief.
This is his one “vice”, but it has destroyed what could have been a wonderful relationship.
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