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Step Son and Step Daughter
November 5, 2015
7:34 am
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Vanessatan
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Well, your story is rather complicated, I feel empathy for it. You could consider some tips to date with a divorced man with children here to find solutions for your case. Hope that you will solve your problem well.

September 25, 2014
7:34 am
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Amber
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Amber said
I too wish I could add some infinite wisdom to say I have a Fairy Tale story.   This is not the case...actually just the opposite as well, with two children of my own that are stuck loving a step-father in everyway.  The blended family just doesn't work in our case.  It just can't blend, partially my husband's issue I feel he will not support me enough with his children. He has kept secrets from me about the kids and not been honest about things in their lives.  Which in the end I always find out about, so it never pays to deny it or not own it upfront.  We have been to a counselor, over and over again tomorrow we go to discuss his recent betrayal. Something he has had conversations with his youngest daughter who despises me for 9 months and never told me about.   She has an eating disorder and he won't admit it, I feel she needs help and he sent her off to college to get a degree she doesn't want and never told me.  Now she is not eating or showering and has lost 2 more pounds in 3 weeks putting her at 91lbs.  She alienates the whole household when she is home and I just cant live with it anymore.   So I wish I had the answers for you...my only thoughts would be to sit down with both of them and talk to his kids.   Just ask them what happened, why are they angry.  Maybe owning the anger could clear the air.  I would not have your young son there.   I would tell the older kids how you feel and get the elephant our of the room so to say.  It doesn't sound like at this point you have anything to lose....the relationship with the grandbaby you might lose in the future would be worse to me.

Good Luck to all-Many prayers and HOPE is always in front of you! :)

September 25, 2014
7:33 am
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Amber
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I too wish I could add some infinite wisdom to say I have a Fairy Tale story.   This is not the case...actually just the opposite as well, with two children of my own that are stuck loving a step-father in everyway.  The blended family just doesn't work in our case.  It just can't blend, partially my husband's issue I feel he will not support me enough with his children. He has kept secrets from me about the kids and not been honest about things in their lives.  Which in the end I always find out about, so it never pays to deny it or not own it upfront.  We have been to a counselor, over and over again tomorrow we go to discuss his recent betrayal. Something he has had conversations with his youngest daughter who despises me for 9 months and never told me about.   She has an eating disorder and he won't admit it, I feel she needs help and he sent her off to college to get a degree she doesn't want and never told me.  Now she is not eating or showering and has lost 2 more pounds in 3 weeks putting her at 91lbs.  She alienates the whole household when she is home and I just cant live with it anymore.   So I wish I had the answers for you...my only thoughts would be to sit down with both of them and talk to his kids.   Just ask them what happened, why are they angry.  Maybe owning the anger could clear the air.  I would not have your young son there.   I would tell the older kids how you feel and get the elephant our of the room so to say.  It doesn't sound like at this point you have anything to lose....the relationship with the grandbaby you might lose in the future would be worse to me.

Good Luck to all-Maybe prayers and HOPE is always in front of you! :)

March 14, 2014
11:40 pm
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Robert Green
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Who doesn't have a family issue? Everyone does. It is important to learn how to keep a balance between a work life and personal life. Taking help of a business/family counselors is a practical advice I could give you. But, I cannot discount the fact that you have suffered a lot. May god give you strength to overcome your troubles.

 

Regards,

Robert Green
Company: Eton

May 28, 2012
7:56 am
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DeSeana
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Truly you are a strong individual (whether you know it or not). I hear the pain and frustration in your comments but I hear the yearning for some kind of connection  more and can relate. To me, despite everything, you ARE trying to incorporate them in your live as well and dealing with stress from it all. I know it can't be easy. On any of the family. I have a 17yr old stepdaughter, Bre, whose life I have been active in since the age of two. Bre has never known her parents together and was a baby when they split. Her parents have joint custody with my husband having the majority time. Her mother is involved but was not very maternal- meaning it was me who did her daughters hair, bought her clothes, sat up with her at night if she was sick or scared. But my daughter does not remember it that way. I have taken her places and to this day she remembers it as her mom being the one to do it. And she has gotten older (specifically since junior high and on, she and her mom have gotten close while we have grown further apart). In fact, as of today, we do not talk. We are worse than strangers. I am not proud of my actions. I know it is childish to ignore my child but truly it not only hurt and frustration that makes me remain distant, I just don't know what to say or do anymore. And I am just tired of trying. I can't make her remember all that I've done or what her mother hasn't.And I can't make her care. So we are polite to each other and avoid each other at all cost.  But my husband and our son are caught in the middle. Has anyone had issues with stepkids but was able to overcome? Please let me know. My patience has wan, my frustration has given out, and my hurt has become mock indifference. I have no words of wisdom for our first writer here other than to say have faith and keep trying. But I myself am lacking in that department...

March 20, 2012
4:44 pm
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chad
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wow...there is a lot going on there. my advice would be to see a professional family counselor. There is only so much you can do and you have to realize that your health is important as well.
Orlando PEO

March 29, 2011
7:32 pm
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FriedGreenTomatillos
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Guests

So sorry to hear of your troubles. Take heart in the fact that you have your children who love you, and your husband who does also. Divorce is the gift that keeps on giving. But we have to remember that without the pain of divorce, we wouldn't know happiness. I hope it all came out ok with you, and that you can find peace in knowing you are doing what you can for your family.

March 17, 2011
1:41 pm
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Susie
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I just ran across this post and cannot believe, with all of your pain, that no one has replied to you!! I hope things are better now than they were in December!
I am a stepmother and what you are going through is rather normal. Stepkids can be really mean to a stepmom. You are basically a non-person to them. It can be very rewarding at times, but mostly it is glamorless, thankless and often dehumanizing. I guess I am trying to say : Don't blame yourself. It is a very hard position to be in. Try to concentrate on hubby and your son and try to be polite and open to your SKids; they may come around. If not it is their loss, and you can still lead a happy productive life.

hugs,
Susie

December 15, 2010
7:28 am
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luvmysubaru2
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I am 44 years old. My husband is 46.
I have one child 18 who is mentally handicap and together my husband and I have a 9 year old.
I have 2 step children , my husbands children, by another marriage.
Step son is 20 and step daughter is 21.
My step son has taken it upon himself to stop talking to us. We are not sure why. We can only speculate.
His real mother has gotten 2 partial loans in 2 years so he can go to college. Plus added him on her car insurance for his car and also cell phone. My husband and I can't afford to do this.
We invited my step son to my daughters graduation BBQ this summer and he was a no show. Since then my husbands birthday and our 9 year olds birthday rolled around and step son was invited but still a no show.

And just last week my step daughter ,who works at my sons elementary school, took my son to the counceler at the school because my son was upset. Now social services have been called and my son was questioned. We my husband and I were also questioned as well. My son had a scratch on his shoulder and my step daughter saw it. She asked my son how it got there. And my son told her that "Dad was telling him to get ready and get dressed for school. And he wasn't listening. So my husband went and put his hand on his arm to get him up so he can get dressed and his hand slipped and it scratched my son on the shoulder". Well for some reason my step daughter said, " no, no you know your mom and dad fight its not your fault".
Well also that morning all of this happened my husband asked me if I could give him $25. All the people at his job were getting together for Christmas and putting in $25 ea. so they can get the owner of this business something nice for the holidays. We didn't have the money and I told my husband we didn't have $25. This made me cry because we are low on money.
So that morning when I left my son off at school he saw that I was upset and he was upset for me and worried about me, his mother. That was the only reason he was upset.
For some reason my step daughter started this whole thing. We don't know why. We were just talking the weekend before. Now we are not talking at all.
Now my step daughters mother just co-signed for her to get a newer vehicle and is on her mothers cell phone plan as well. Like I said my husband and I can't afford to do this.
To make matters worse my step daughter is pregnant and she is due to have our first grandchild in Mar.. She has told her father that she wouldn't have left the grandchild off with us anyway. OUCH, now this really hurts.
So its Christmas time and we have lost 2 children. My 2 step children. I feel like I am greving. I feel so dead inside. I feel so bad for my husband.
I did talk with the vise principle at the elementary school and he didn't know that my step daughter and my son were half brother and sister. And I got an appology from the school counceler. He said he didn't know that the vise principle had called social services on us. He knew that the scratch on my sons shoulder was an accident. As for social services ,well, we are still waiting for them to do there report.
We never got an appology from my step daughter. She is determined she is right.
Tons of hurt here. I don't know what to do.
I have a son who from time to time cries for his 1/2 brother. And now I know he will cry for his 1/2 sister also.

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