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My daughter reels me in and throws me out
November 22, 2013
12:10 am
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Jay Rossi
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Hello Gail,

 

I feel for you as I am going through the same with my daughter who is 45 years old. She is treating me so cruelly even though I have not interfered with her or her family ever. She has been unhappy with her husband because he is a calm and non aggressive man. Her father, who I divorced 16 years ago after 30 years of abuse. I have searched for love all my life having come from a very cold upbringing. My dad passed away when I was 2 yrs old. Mom was hard and very strict so as a result there were no boyfriends and going out. So now I am living with a man who adores me and loves me so much. Unfortunately I don't love him or any other man because I don't know how.

My daughter was the love of my life. She accuses me of the most cruel things, hates my partner and has pushed me out of her life. She has called me and sent numerous messages for me not to contact her. Her voice doesn't even sound like her. My  whole world revolved around her. She was the only thing that was a part of me that no one could ever take away. She has met a very bad man and has now left her husband. I believe she has sold her home and moving away. She rang to tell me to never see her or my two grandchildren ever again. I have not seen them for over 3 months. The last time was for their birthdays when I took gifts for them. I am crying everyday and don't know the answers about why children behave this way. I cannot understand the anger and she will not talk to me. I pray all the time and hope for a miracle one day, but I'm not sure if this will ever happen. People with the biggest hearts, feel the most pain.

February 19, 2013
5:50 am
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Gail
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I was divorced a number of years ago. after the divorce it was hard. Feelings of being alone,not good enough all came to the surface. At the time my children were 16 and 15. My daughter had a hard life growing up with her Father so didn't my Son,thier father was verbally abusive and mentally abusive. I Ran into a man tha that I was engaged to when I was 20. I moved in with him and my kids thinking that we could get back what we had. Didn't work out that way. My daughter was lying and drinking and had this guy in her life that was very controlling. I could'nt stand it anymore. I asked her Dad to take her in. He refused. I told my Daughter at the time I can't take this anymore. You are going to stay with (not her real name) Marci,who was a friend of mine. She had 3 kids that my kids were great friends with. When it didn't work ourk out with the guy I was living with I moved out. I tried to have my daughter mo9ve back with us. It was awful. She was drinking,staying out all hours,lying,stealing money from me. I again asked her father to take her and again he refused. 4 different times I had asked him and each time he refused. She moved in with this "guy" and it was one thing after another almost like he had control of her mind. Needless to say it wasn't good. She got pregnant and I thought it would be better. She finally left this controlling guy. I have tried to have a relationship with my daughter over the years,it's been torture. she brings me in and throws me out. I haven seen my Grandson now in over a year. He is 8. I only went to one Birthday. My daughter can not forgive me for "throwing her out "as she calls it. She is now 29. Whenever anything goes wrong it's my fault. I have had to watch what I say,what I do,I have to agree with her on everything and I cna't offer my opinion...even when she asks. She has verbally aboused me.hung my Grandson over my head for quilt. FOr the last 10 years I have said I'm sorry just to make peace it hasn't done any good. I can't change the past...so what does she want from me. To DIE? She 's getting married this june. I went down last year( the one time she wanted me to visit) to see her gown, then because I needed to get home (maine) it wasn't good enough that I came down. I am not invited to the wedding. It's killing me. My ex friend is going to be Mother of the Bride. Not me.  She wrote me a note on facebook (after 9 months of not talking with her) that she wants me stop talking to certain people about her.(  One I havent seen nor heard from her in a year) I won't let her verbally abuse me anymore,I won't let her walk all over me anymore. I won't let her menatlly hold my Grandson over me anymore. All this because "i threw her out when she was young" never mind how she treated her own Mother. So what do I do? When you have a dughter you dream about her becoming a bride and seeing her walk down the aisle. It's killing me. But she doesnt want anything to do with me. I can't change the past. Not once has she ver said "I;m sorry Mom." so..How do I get though it. She wants me to stay out of her life.she says she's moved on with her new family. But, i say she hasnt ...how can you move on when you havent dealt with the past?

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