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I have 16 month old monozygotic girls…
March 15, 2017
3:09 am
Awaiting Moderation

February 4, 2010
2:11 am

Greetings Dr. Coleman… 
I have 16 month old monozygotic girls… the loves of my life. Since their birth, my relationship with my husband has changed dramatically. I notice that I don’t feel close to him and feel very disconnected from him. I have very little interest in being intimate with him…and I hear this protest alot. I believe that, deep down, the reason I don’t feel as close to him is because the way he acted when the girls were born. He was very hands off, I did ALL of the feedings, changings, etc., morning and night, while recovering from a horrible C-section. He never offered to help (nor does he now..I always have to ask) When the girls were 5 months old, he told me that he doesn’t like caring for them and that I do fine by myself, so when he is home, I should just pretend like he’s not there and take care of it!! I felt like I was married to a complete stranger!! He loves the girls–I know that–and he has improved immensely, but it’s still always only on his terms. For instance, I have been suggesting for sometime that we need to take them to Sunday school…he says, “I agree that they should go, but you do it yourself…I am not going with you…I don’t like going to church” I find myself resenting him more and more. It’s like he wants to remain self-absorbed and not bothered very much with the kids. I have tried to talk to him and he turns it around on me…that I am so evil witch and have changed completely from the person he married. Additionally, when he watches them, he is so passive–basically he watches TV while they run around. And, of course, we argue all of the time over his part in household chores (I did quit my job when they were born…) I just want to scream at him most of the time and my marriage–which I once felt was so strong, is a mere shadow of what it once was. I love him, but I want to strangle him!!!!!! Am I expecting too much? Is it from my exhaustion of being a mom to twins? Is it hormones? Help!

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