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I cheated...
October 16, 2012
9:33 am
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Hope for Reconciliat
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I am sure you get these emails all the time. I just read an article you wrote about building trust after an affair. I recently cheated on my husband. Earlier in life I had suffered through child molestation by a family friend for 3 years. I never told anyone about it until I was 28 years old.  Due to this, I realize that my boundaries were terribly skewed. I really didn't want to have an affair. The man actually was quite forceful with me- backing me into a corner and kissing me in one instance. The night we had sex, I was incredibly drunk and had previously told him while sober I was not interested in a sexual relationship with him.  

Its been 6 months since I told my husband about the event. He has been back and forth with his decision. He says he loves and cares for me, but no longer is in love with me. He has filed for divorce but recently slowed the process because he says he wants to be sure. I feel that he is hesitant because there is still a piece of him that wants to stay. He is still having sex with me and making weekend plans with our family. He's just so distant. I am being transparent, kind, going to therapy and dedicating all my time to healing. He says he doesn't want to go to couples counseling. He feels that this whole issue is because of my past and has nothing to do with him. He was a good husband. 

My question is how can I help him recover his love for me? 

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