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Son refuses to admit why we are estranged
June 21, 2016
7:33 pm
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onestepatatime
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Em, sometimes the reasons make no rational or logical sense and we have to stop wondering why. Some things are not changeable or fixable. I am sorry. It sounds like you have tried and tried and done a lot to make things better. Some people just are not good or nice people and nothing ever fixes the relationship because they are not wanting it fixed. My only suggestion is to move forward in your own life and make it a good one. Stop focusing on him and the problem and focus on yourself for once. Detaching from the problem will allow you to find your personal power and take it back. Find a fun hobby, meet new friends, go back to school, stay busy, volunteer with kids or animals who will show you love and appreciation.

June 21, 2016
2:22 am
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Marilyn
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If his dad died around the same time maybe it has something (in his mind) to do with that. Six years is a very long time but it's happened to me - two years in September - and, although I got the reasons (in a vile email full of hate) it didn't help because none of them amounted to very much really. The reasons were all tied up with how badly I'd treated my husband (her father) and spoiled their holidays together. In reality it was he who was verbally abusive and endlessly picked fault and staged arguments. Because I reacted and defended myself I was at fault. I left my husband a year ago last Feb after my daughter told me to get out of her life.

Had we been a normal family none of it would have happened but we weren't normal (thanks to my husband). Sometimes there are no explanations that make any sense.

I wish you well and hope you find peace of mind one day 🙂

June 20, 2016
12:12 pm
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em
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It is 6 painful years since my son now 39 insists that I am the reason for the estrangement( and yet he refuses to name the issues.  I have made every effort in trying to rectify the problem to no avail. I have apologized

( not knowing it that I have done to cause the rift ) and that has not altered the situation.) I am speaking for myself as his Dad passed away 6 years ago. 

Em

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