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Never Good Enough
April 6, 2015
8:21 am
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LH
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That's horrible. You've had such a hard life, and it sounds like it's not going to get better any time soon. It's impressive that you've still found enough energy to go to school and take the steps you need to get out.

I don't have much time to write a better reply, but I did want to tell you this: You aren't liable for your parents' debt. Legally, they cannot pass their debt on to you unless you accept it, and their debtors can't collect from you. The worst that can happen is their debtors can take the money from their estate when they die. So don't let that tie you down.

April 5, 2015
8:36 pm
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Marisa
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Sorry, typo.  My sister was 18 when she had her car wreck. It was 1985.

April 5, 2015
8:31 pm
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Marisa
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I am 46 years old, grew up in a christian family, still have my faith.  My junior year in high school, my 28 year old diabetic sister had a car accident coming home from college following my parents.  My senior year, my parents had to focus on my sister and I left at 7 am and returned at 10 pm.  Active in a Christian Social-Service club, my youth group, and Drama.  Not drugs, drinking, or sex. Went 6 hours away to a christian college and knew I didn't want to go back home.  My mother was manic depressive and of course I am too. And I had been a child in that house since she had her instances since 3rd grade.  You can imagine what the wreck of her daughter did to her. I dated a wonderful christian man for  3/1/2 years in college. He graduated early went out in the real world for a year and broke up with me my last semester in College.  I did not move back home where I would have to listen to how horrible my mother's life is and how horrible my dad has been to her (not true).  My mom closed life out and focused on my sister for 7 years and expected my Dad and I to be everything she needed.  It obviously backfired.  We are never what she needes. We fall short everyday, every week of the year.  I started working in a small rural school, no prospects for a husband, found the best christian man, I could, became a worka holic and 7 years later divorced when he revealed he was gay.  Married the total opposite in a military man, emotionally abused me to the point I was scared of him and left.  My parents by then had to move to Arkansas since I am the only family and it has always been known to me that I will inherit their debt and my sister to take care of  I accepted this since 16 years and have tried to live my life , so when I get my sister fulltime, I can commit to taking care of her and keeping her out of a nursing home.  My parents have become sick, I am forced to live across the street from them in a rental house, since my husband won't divorce me, lives in our house with our name on it and won't let me come home.  I can't afford a lawyer and already had to go through bankruptcy with my first husband.  According to my Mom I do not spend enough time or respect them enough.  I have been yelled at and told this since I was 18.  Currently I am going through the worst part of manic depression that goes along with the onslaught of menopause.  I am on medication and go to counseling (the opposite of everything my mother ever did).  I go to work, the only successful part of my life and come home and go straight to bed or to do homework so I can get a 2nd masters, make more money and divorce my husband, and pay off my parents debt.  I do not go to church anymore, because everytime I go by myself I cry through the entire service or have to get up and walk out.  I take off everytime my dad or sister has a doctors appt spend the nights at hospitals for weeks at a time with them.  But just cannot bring myself to walk over to that house more than once a week to hear how bad her life is, the world is, my sister is, why they haven't' seen me enough.  I cannot be there only outlet to the world.  I cannot be her best friend.  I have only 1 friend, but am friendly with many.  What people see on the outside is the total opposite of what is on the inside.  For probably the 50th time, she has told me never to come back.  In two weeks she will come knock on my door and act like nothing ever happened (the story of our lives, she blows up and we all pay and she never says she is sorry or acts like it happens at all)  I truly am tired. so tired. I do not know what kind of life this is....but I do not know if I can live it much longer.  My 9 year old is the only reason I do.  I am a christian, I have slept with only 2 people in my live, whom I have been married to.  I treat others the way I would want to be treated.  And all I want to do is leave this earth and be with Jesus. I get told in person, by notes, through facebook, through rumor, what a difference I made and continue to make in my students lives  But  I am a constant disappointment to everyone I love and  I am not a good person.  I do not get it.  I do not know any others with this story.  I just know that everyone has a story and whatever it is, it is just as hard on them, as mine is on me.  

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