I'm not sure if i should tell my whole story here, but I will share part of my experiences.
In May I will have been estranged from my mother for 4 years and in March I will have been estranged from my entire family for 3 years. (With the exception of minimal contact with my step dad.)
My Mother and Grandmother both suffer from Bipolar disorder and the latter has been an alcoholic since before I was born. Because of this my early childhood and adolescence were full of physical and emotional abuse that I was gaslighted into forgetting or normalizing. Once I started college it was brought to my attention that the way I was treated was wrong. It took three years after the seed was planted for me to excuse myself from their abuse.
The first year I was only angry. Angry at what she had done to me. Angry at her dieses. Angry at everyone who told me i was in the wrong. Since then though I mourn for the family I've never gotten to have.
For years I had a partner and a group of friends that acted as a surrogate family, but last year I seperated from my partner and moved to a new city where I knew only one person. I quickly lost contact with most of the people I knew.
This last year has been hard for me. The social anxiety and depression I was diagnosed with as a child has gotten nearly as bad as its ever been. I almost feel like there is no point making conections with others, because they always end or are broken.
Has anyone else had estrangement affect them this way? Has anything changed? If so what happened to change your mind?
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