Good morning Patrick:
You know, depression, anger, and denial has a way of keeping all of us confused and mixed up. Especially when our family is involved. You're spending energy on situations that you've kinda resolved. Listen to your words Patrick. "I feel happy, clear headed and safe, since no contact with my father." That declaration is very powerful and revealing. You took a stand, and that's okay. However, it's not okay to want your siblings to be on your side. I know, it's not fair. I want my brothers to stand with me too. But truthfully it didn't happen for me too. Oh well, you pray, and hope that one day our family will understand, be vocal, and let the familial abuser know that enough is enough, just like you have done.
Now two events that are important and needs to be addressed pragmatically. You mentioned that your Dad blocked calls from your Mama. Well, how come she has'nt called you?
I understand the dynamics of medical insurance, pre-existing medical conditions, and the seriousness of your physical and emotional ailments. Conscentrate on you alone, maintain your insurance, acquire a new job, or please, look into the great medical programs that are in place. I'm only familiar with California.
You are doing great Patrick, stay focused on you, your health, and your heart. And btw, God don't care who you wish to spend your adult life with. This is a cruel world we live in and it's your business who you wish to share your life with.
I am 25, male and currently working in Dubai.
I was born in Ireland my parents still live there. My 3 sisters live all around the world.
I had a difficult childhood, with unorthodox parenting from my mother, growing up gay in a strict Catholic family, a family with a lot of mental illness and a VERY short-tempered father.
I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of 12 and always had a predisposition for depression. Throughout my life and living away from my childhood home, I have noticed my depression is quite situational and not continuous as as was the case growing up.
I am no longer in contact with any of my nuclear family. I cut-off access from my 2 eldest sisters last October as I was not happy with my eldest sister's self-entitlement and both their closeness to my father.
I was in a deep depression between July to October of last year after returning from a visit to my parents last year. My father was very cruel and threatened me continuously. I may be 25 but I was left almost suicidal after leaving Ireland. Those wounds have healed no but my burning contempt and disgust from such events is still alive.
The hardest part f this is being cut off contact from my mother. My father blocked my calls from her last January and all my sisters have followed suit.
I am in the process of returning to Ireland as my multiple sclerosis treatment is in Ireland and my current job is quite unstable sadly.
I feel happy, clear-minded and safe since not being in contact with my father.
My biggest fear is not being able to survive back in Ireland without resorting to contact him again. This fear is crippling.
Can you please offer any advice?
Btw, I think what you on this forum is incredible and you are making a positive impact on so many people's lives :-))
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