I believe that most couple conflicts operate by way of feedback loops. To that end, I’m less oriented to who’s right and who’s wrong, and more interested in how conflict and distance are perpetuated by each member.
I’m a very active therapist and provide a lot of guidance and advice about what needs to change in order for progress to be made.
One of my goals is for couples to be able to show their vulnerability to each other but in a way that minimizes the risk of the other’s shutting down.
"Dr. Coleman has the power to single-handedly slow the rate of divorce."
- Cleveland Plain Dealer
There are a number of obstacles that commonly get in the way:
Family history: one or both members never learned how to communicate in a way that helped them get their needs met
They communicate in a way that shuts down the other person by being overly critical, negative or acting in a victimized way
They are unable to advocate for themselves due to fears of rejection, conflict, or feeling undeserving.
They are insufficiently aware or sensitive to how their behavior causes the other to withdraw.
A good relationship requires that you be 100% selfless and 100% self-interested. If you’re too selfless, you’re in danger of being walked on and feeling taken for granted. If you’re too selfish, you’re in danger of causing your partner to feel used and unappreciated.
CONFLICT - Most couples need help learning the following:
How to prevent fights from escalating
How to call a 'time-out' productively
How to complain without sounding critical
How to take responsibilities for one's own liabilities and issues
How to repair it when you 'blow it.'
Frequently Asked Questions
How will we meet?
Sessions are available over phone, Zoom, Face Time, or Skype.
How soon can I see you?
Do you accept insurance?
I don’t accept insurance, but I can provide you with a bill for your insurance company to reimburse you. If you’re outside of California, check to see if your insurance reimburses out-of-state providers for telehealth sessions.