I Don’t Love My Son, Anymore. Does That Make Me Bad?

I have found that the past 3 years of estrangement, mixed in with angry, accusatory, wrongheaded accusations from him and his wife, that I no longer love my son. He is not the boy that I raised and not even someone I choose to consider family anymore. As a mother, that makes me feel like a terrible person.”

Answer: I think that your position is healthy. As parents, we’re not required to continue to remain open and affectionate to those who continue to mistreat or reject us. Part of the reason that I emphasize making amends, taking responsibility, and showing empathy for some period of time is that I want you to have that in the “I left no stone unturned” bank if you decide to stop trying.

And if you decide to stop trying, it’s healthy to detach in as clear a way as possible, from those who would hurt you. Yes, sometimes that also means one’s own children.

One comment on “I Don’t Love My Son, Anymore. Does That Make Me Bad?

  1. After 3 years of estrangement I know the person who wrote this. It is me! I no longer love my son. I can no longer be tortured by he and his wife. I am drowning in sorrow. I have sought help, answers and counsel to no avail. He is no longer the kind hearted respectful man I raised. His wife actually suggested to someone “ if you want to see her feathers get ruffled ask her when the last time she saw her grandchildren was”. Where can I go for support? I am drowning in sorrow.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>