Dear Dr. Coleman,
Our 21 yr old just announced she is getting married in 5 months (not pregnant) to her 2 yr companion and addict boyfriend. We dislike him and his family-there is nothing positive to say about him. We have always had a good relationship with her (so I thought) until this guy came into the picture. Should we participate in the wedding? Should we try to pay for it? (we’ve been unemployed for 3 years now & husband is on disability). Should we ‘bless’ this union even though I get sick thinking about it? I’d rather her continue to live with him than marry him – he is so low & has threatened us. She totally supports his actions – not ours. Her perception has always been “off” and with her multiple disabilities, she will never see clearly. We’ve been accused of being controlling, but we have her best interests in our hearts & she needs protecting b/c of her learning disabilities. Please help!
Dear Reader,
It is very tough on parents when they a) don’t like their future daughter- or son-in-law and b) believe that their child is making a very serious mistake in marrying that person. From my perspective, it’s rarely productive to come out and say, “I don’t like your fiancé.”
Girls’ Sports Matter
Some parents wonder about whether high school athletics serve any long-term purpose. Apparently, for high school girls they do. According to a recent study cited in the NYT’s by columnist Tara Parker-Pope, women who competed in high school sports, did better later in life in terms of health, education, and economics than girls who didn’t compete.
“Just six years after the enactment of Title IX (the law mandating that schools that receive federal money are required to have athletic programs for girls), the percentage of girls playing team sports had jumped sixfold, to 25 percent from about 4 percent.” One of the researchers, economist Betsey Stevenson “found that the changes set in motion by Title IX explained about 20 percent of the increase in women’s education and about 40 percent of the rise in employment for 25-to-34-year-old women.”
Why would this be the case?
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