Reach back and give yourself a big pat on the back. Most people who have gone through your situation would still be on the streets. But most of us parents who have been cut off by adult children did not desert them as children. I worked extremely hard after my husband left to raise my two daughters - they went to the best schools, took all the lessons - dancing, piano, baton, went to college loans, studied abroad, got new cars, etc. Now that I am disabled and on a fixed income, my youngest daughter has cut me off which includes my two granddaughters. BUT as Dr. Coleman says in his book - it is what it is. I have gone through all the steps in his book and now I have to let it go. So my advise to you is to concentrate on yourself and your children - and heed the advise in the previous reply.
I am truly sorry for what you have gone thru and I agree with you that you have ever right to not want to see your family that have done this to you
You are obviously very angry and rightfully so
But if you can find forgiveness and let them go you will find love thru other people. I don't have " the answer" I only know that carrying around all that anger, bitterness and resentment will hold you back.. Wether it's a parent that has been hurt.. or a child that has been hurt.. Everyone has a different story
I too have family members that have hurt me, I forgive them and I've moved on..
Take care of yourself.. You should be proud of yourself that you've come this far.
Why would any child want to reconcile with an estranged parent?
I was abused mentally, and emotionally throughout my life. I’ve been through things most people couldn’t even fathom or think was real.
Ever since I was young I could never get any encouragement and can never remember anyone saying good job. The common saying in my parents place was “there is always going to be someone better boy.” Followed up by a weekly beating as an reward.
I left home at a young age only to be introduced to the tough street life, and learning how to survive. I ate out of dumpsters, and slept under decks just too stay warm. (It wasn’t uncommon to have 4hrs of sleep as I had to move quickly so I wouldn’t have to deal with the police on sleeping on somebodies property.) I had to do so much walking that my feet would blister up getting to the library and back trying to educate myself.
I never got one email, phone call, or Facebook request when I was going through the worst time of my life.
But when things started changing rapidly and I got off the streets and having success who came along? The so-called family that was hurting for a relationship came knocking……Individuals like you.
I asked myself the question: “Where were you when I”
- Was eating out of a #%?% dumpster for months trying to get an education
- Had a jaw infection where I couldn’t eat for 4 days.
- Had kidney stones that required immediate surgery.
- Sleeping under decks and in bushes
- Washing my clothes in a river
To all you parents that are hurting that your children don’t want a relationship with you…. You deserve every little bit of pain and suffering you’re going through. You don’t deserve to ever have a relationship with your children. EVER.
The knocking on the door, emails, and odd telephone call means nothing from the experiences you put them through. If you could experience a fraction of what you put them through it would make you sick.
You don’t have any right to see grandchildren as you would try to poison their minds.
I feel no sympathy to you individuals that are longing for a relationship with your children. You don’t deserve it and never will.
Saying you’re sorry, a telephone call, or knocking on a door is pathetic. Reading a self-help book and thinking you’re a better person is just ridiculous. For the amount of years you put your child through hell, you should experience this directly for yourself.
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