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You are not alone! My son and family cut me out of their life a year ago. For several years prior, I noticed that they did not call, send Christmas card or gift, no birthday greetings and no thank yous for our gifts to grandchildren. I have left messages on the phone and email with no response. I've given up trying to reach them. I suspect that his wife has planted ideas in his mind. She is also estranged from her sister. They just had a new baby and I found out about it on Facebook (although they all have un-friended me). This Christmas I sent gift cards to the kids and got no reply (didn't expect one). Thank goodness I have a daughter who shares a good relationship with me. I've asked myself a million times what it is that I have done. I've tried to apologize but apparently whatever I have done is so awful they can't even discuss it. No use in beating myself up over and over.

Cassie, Your situation sounds a lot like mine and I can truly feel how much pain you are in. My ES is older than yours, but is also an excellent student and in excellent health and enjoyed school and all the extra- curriculars. He also got involved with a much older woman when he was in his early twenties. They married and divorced, they knew from the start it had little chance to work. My son's father's relationship with him was interrupted by the courts as he was not willing to fulfill his obligation to meet with a psychologist. He took himself out of my son's life and I'm sure there is mental illness there as well. As my son grew older, he became more distant and hot and cold. When he felt like it, we could talk for an hour on the phone. If I called him, it was like pulling teeth. I have not heard from my son for two years. He lives in another state. The only one he stays in contact with his my younger son. As I said on another post, we were our son's beginning. Nothing they say can change how much we desired them, or loved them or nurtured them. We were never promised to be in their present or their future. I have very bad days on the verge of tears all day, but what brings me around is not wanting to waste a minute missing relationships with people who want to be IN my life. Cassie, I'm truly sorry you are suffering. I think most of us agree that we have to stay busy and exercise. I put away all reminders of my ES, all the gifts and pictures. When people ask about him and I can't change the subject, I say, "He's difficult, it's difficult." I know you will think this is crazy, but it was an honor to raise him because all of his "self-made" successes started with a mother who believed in his abilities and bright future.

Cassie said:

Hi all

My only son is 26. He was an A grade student all through his schooling and enjoyed excellent physical health. Nearly 2 years ago while working abroad for a few months he met a girl. He returned home and she followed. They rented an apartment near to where I live for a year. I went to visit them a few times just for a coffee, but it was plain to see that I was not wanted. My son telephoned me or called the odd time to my home but it was usually only to collect some of his belongings. A few times when he did call to my home his girlfriend telephoned him and he quickly left to get back to her. This girl is 10 years older than him and does not work at all. She is his first serious girlfriend. She wanted to return to her country of origin and because of his good qualifications my son got a very good job in her home country. I called to say goodbye to them a week before they went away and she would not speak to me. He just stared at me saying nothing. He did tell me later that she did not like me. The reason being that when she came here they stayed in my house for a week and they both ignored me in my own home and he started to bully me. I had to tell them to leave as I could not take their treatment of me any longer. Although she would not form a relationship with me she went out with my son to meet his uncle who he had only started to get to know. Up until now the uncle did not know my son as his brother my son's father died 2 years ago had left me when I was pregnant and his family never came near us or offered any help. My son's father never played any part in his life and had suffered from severe mental health problems. I think my son has also go a personality disorder as he goes overboard about anything that he gets into, such as studying, sports, etc and now this relationship. There is no happy medium with him. He got very insulting and cold hearted towards me over the past few years and I cried many times. Since he took up with his girlfriend and left home I have had terrible lonely feelings and I have not been sleeping too well. I have been trying to cope with the rejection. Now they have cut me off completely since they went abroad at the beginning of October and I had my first Xmas on my own. I am doing my best to make new friends, take up some hobbies etc but still feel so said and hurt. Is there anything else I can do to help myself.

Hi all

My only son is 26. He was an A grade student all through his schooling and enjoyed excellent physical health. Nearly 2 years ago while working abroad for a few months he met a girl. He returned home and she followed. They rented an apartment near to where I live for a year. I went to visit them a few times just for a coffee, but it was plain to see that I was not wanted. My son telephoned me or called the odd time to my home but it was usually only to collect some of his belongings. A few times when he did call to my home his girlfriend telephoned him and he quickly left to get back to her. This girl is 10 years older than him and does not work at all. She is his first serious girlfriend. She wanted to return to her country of origin and because of his good qualifications my son got a very good job in her home country. I called to say goodbye to them a week before they went away and she would not speak to me. He just stared at me saying nothing. He did tell me later that she did not like me. The reason being that when she came here they stayed in my house for a week and they both ignored me in my own home and he started to bully me. I had to tell them to leave as I could not take their treatment of me any longer. Although she would not form a relationship with me she went out with my son to meet his uncle who he had only started to get to know. Up until now the uncle did not know my son as his brother my son's father died 2 years ago had left me when I was pregnant and his family never came near us or offered any help. My son's father never played any part in his life and had suffered from severe mental health problems. I think my son has also go a personality disorder as he goes overboard about anything that he gets into, such as studying, sports, etc and now this relationship. There is no happy medium with him. He got very insulting and cold hearted towards me over the past few years and I cried many times. Since he took up with his girlfriend and left home I have had terrible lonely feelings and I have not been sleeping too well. I have been trying to cope with the rejection. Now they have cut me off completely since they went abroad at the beginning of October and I had my first Xmas on my own. I am doing my best to make new friends, take up some hobbies etc but still feel so said and hurt. Is there anything else I can do to help myself.