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Fran said:

Your heartbreak is evident in your post. You hurt so much that you feel you can't express fast enough how bad you feel. There will never be an explanation why your own child would want to throw you away. Now I think that others can and do influence your child to estrange you. I know that some in my family think that I am just being paranoid, but years later, something will bring out the truth and you can say you were right and not paranoid. But by then you will be resigned to the estrangement enough it isn't important any more. This happened to me and others knew throughout the years about the relationship between my sister and daughter. I watched during those years as my daughter took on the personality of my sister. And this was not good. My sister however continues, after 4 years to try to enlist family members to not associate with me. My daughter is trying to enlist my other children , her siblings to join the "hate mom" club. I am blessed that the others did not join and refuse to be part of their sisters "club". It took 4 years to mend my heart and get the strength to not allow myself to be hurt by both my daughter and sister. My ex her father may not condone her behavior. When she started dissing me 4 years ago, he blamed me. Now I don't know what he thinks, and it really makes no difference. So what I am trying to say is, yes, another person can influence your EC to do this to you. Personality disorder, mean, immature (even if they are old), brainwashed???????? Whatever the reason, it is their own personal choice to behave in that manner. At times it still gets to me, but I am able now to put it in perspective and ignore what they say and do. Sorry you are going through this and I truly hope that you can work out your feelings for your best interest. The best to you and prayers go out to you. Another New Year is approaching and let it be a good start for you. Letting my daughter go was what worked for me. No communication at all. My sister will be there because our father is alive. He is very old and I will have no peace from her until we say goodbye to him. He made me executor of his trust which sits in her craw. Sorry I rambled on, guess I am not as over it as I thought. Have a nice New Year!

My daugher and I always had a wonderful relationship, or so I thought. I was basically the only parent, because my ex never really wanted anything to do with my kids, actually telling them when they were yong that he never wanted children. Having said that, my 23 year old daughter started dating someone last December. She suddenly "had to move out" in March. She was getting quite nasty, insulting me and speaking in a very condescending tone. I met her boyfriend when they arrived at my house quite late for dinner, with no explanation or apology. This was after she had moved out. She wouldn ot tell me where she was living and, a year later, I still do not have her address. The only time she came by was to get her mail, and she would stay a short time and leave, claiming 35 minutes is just too far for her to drive to see me. I only heard from her via text to ask about her cell phone or car insurance bills. She has since gotten her own accounts. I ddi not see her for Thanksgiving, my birthay, or Christmas. She shared that her boyfriend has a drinking problem and a personality disorder. She also told me his parents (who live out of state) are both recovering alcoholics. She started dating him and suddenly did a 180 degree turn on me. Now I never speak to her and havent' seen her in about 6 months. I know my situation has not gone on as long as other postings, but I am trying to get some guidance. I recently found out that she has lunch with her father every week. The pain I feel is horrible, I cannot sleep or eat. I feel in my heart that this guy is influencing her to distance herself from me. Of course, I can't prove anything, but she clearly wants nothing to do with me. I suspect people in my family know things but won't tell me. I also suspect there is alcohol involved, and I was told about a year ago she went to a party and was so drunk she couldn't even talk. The next day she couldn't remember anything and I was told she had an alcoholic blackout. I got the information from someone I rann into who attended the party. I don't remember if she had started dating this guy at that point. She had still been living at home at the time and pretty much stopped communicating with me. She graduated college,got a job and suddenly looked down her nose at anyone without a college degree. She was so desperate to get out of the house that she went on Craig's list to find roommates. She did text me on Christmas morning to say "Merry Christmas". She never asked what I was doing or where I was going. I apologize for the incohesive format of this writing. Any comments, advise, or guidance is appreciated.