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It has been 16 days today and not a word from our son… we are just so confused and really don't know what to do. We are hurt as he is not even calling his sister and she is feeling the pain. I'm just afraid the longer the wait the harder it will be to sit down and discuss this situation. What should we do????

Hi Mary
I totally agree with Helen Marie I would also like to add the your husbands ex wife/girlfriend will have something to say soon because she is going to notice a change in her son after spending time with this noisy child. So she may end up giving him a hard time I would not say anything to your son at all I would be pleasant and happy and not ask questions except about your grandson and even then I would keep it light and cheerful . H e will come to his senses eventually the more you say something that could be remotely misconstrued the more his current girlfriend will use against you so never say or do anything that they can turn against you. I speak from experience trust me

Thank you Helen Marie for your reply it is reassuring to hear from another Mom confirmation of what we were thinking. I agree with you totally Helen Marie that he is in the ''honeymoon'' stage and it will wear off quickly. I feel sorry for our grandson when he has to spend time with the new
girlfriend and her son as our little man is such an adorable, polite and quiet little man, totally the opposite of her son. I feel sorry for her little man, he needs medical attention and unfortunately she does not see this, it's beyound our understanding it is so very obvious he has problems. My husband and I really cannot understand why they are not seeking help for this child, he will have major problems when he begins school. We have decided to just let the dust settle and we are sure that our son is still greaving his last relationship, he is confused and who do you lash out when your angry, they say the ones you love the most. But it still hurts terribly. Hopefully time will heal all but in the meantime we are so worried about our grandson and the influence the girlfriend's son will have on his behaviour. We are quite certain our son is totally fed up but my husband and I have made up our minds that under no circumstances will he be returning home not if but when things do not work out with the new girlfriend. We are going to suggest that he seek councilling for himself as he seems to have this anger and he must talk to someone in order to move on. Once again Thank you so much for validating our comment. Have a wonderful week-end, you have lifted a huge weight off our shoulders, we will not enjoy a nice QUIET week-end.

Hello to everyone here on this wonderful forum.
I have been reading a lot of your posts and I am amazed at how we are all living very similar situations, it certainly is not easy being a parent these days.
I have 2 children, my son is 29 and my daughter is 27 and she is intellectually handicapped. The problem my husband and I have is with our 29 year old son. I know we are not without fault, we are human, we do make mistakes but now we are living a very difficult situation and would really appreciate some input. Our 29 year old son moved back home in June 2011 after leaving his girlfriend of 7 years. They have a beautiful son, our precious grandson who is now 2 1/2 years old. They share custody on a 3-2-3 days basis. They visited a child therapist immediately after their split and this is what the therapist suggested. They are handling their separation very well, there are some ups and downs, which is normal, but they are able to put their differences aside for their son. When our son asked if he could come back home until he finalized the separation and was financially secure, my husband and I never thought it would take for ever for him to reach his goal. He arrived with his son in June 2011 and left last week due to difficult living arrangements. We have been helping him care for his son over the last months, driving our grandson to and from daycare, making meals, washing, etc… a lot of extra work for me but I was more than willing to help him out. We charged him 75$ a week, which we are planning on giving back to him in order to help his financial situation as he is finding it hard. In October he found a new woman and they have become quite serious and he has been talking of moving out and living with her in July 2012. So far so good… this new woman has a 3 1/2 year old son and I adore children but this child is the devil reincarnated… ouffffff we spent last week-end with them here in our home and we almost lost our sanity, this child spends all his waking hours screaming… yes screaming, unbelievable, our grandson is very quiet and never acts this way. They arrived, the new girlfriend and her son on Friday evening (why we do not know) and left Sunday after I lost my patience and asked her to please stop her son from screaming that it was bothering my husband, especially my daughter and myself. She became very upset and told my son who in turn became very angry and decided he was moving out immediately taking most of his things as well as our grandson's things, most of which we purchased… that's not the problem. Before he left he was yelling at us and upsetting us terribly, telling us we had no business talking to his new girlfriend like that, hurting her feelings, etc… what else where we expected to do, whe had been listening to this since Friday evening oufffff…. so now he has left stating that he needs some breathing time and to be honest it has been the best week we have had since June, but I feel sad that he is upset at us and I don't know what to do. I certainly do not want his girlfriend's child back in our home until we come to an understanding that if she cannot control her child she as well as her child are not welcome. It is a confusing story, I know but I'm telling it as it is, I have cried so many tears, a lot over the years but even more in the past week. What should we do. Any and all input would be great. I'm so happy to have found this sight… Wishing you all a wonderful day.