TELESEMINAR SERIES FOR COUPLES AND PARENTS OF YOUNG CHILDREN AND TEENS
TELESEMINARS FOR ESTRANGED PARENTS
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10:25 pm
Dear Jem, First let me say how very sorry I am about the estrangement with your daughter. I too have been going through this nightmare for just about two years. Last summer I did have a breakdown and tried to commit suicide. I was brought to the physc ward and left feeling how did i get to this place It was a painfully needed emotional and physical rest. I was in the hospital nine days, where I received group therapy, individual and art therapy. I was frightened, felt lonely and out-of-place. I fortunately met a lot of people who shared their stories and I mine and it helped to open new doors and possibilities. first I am not alone and secondly some stories are so much worse than mine. We can eventually change our situation but must have loving thoughts, compassion for yourself and your daughter, and lots of patience. Whenever negative thoughts would enter my head I would stop and say a prayer. I have a counsellor I see once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. I have family and friends who are helpful. Reach out and never be ashamed. We are all on a journey and are learning something new everyday. Life is a gift. Embrace it. I accidentally came across dr. Coleman's book through my sister who thought it might be helpful. It saved me honestly. I keep it on my night table as my bible. No offense as I have one as well. Please go talk to your GP or find a great counsellor in you error. Suicide is not the answer I promise you that. I am grateful every day for new light, new chances and opportunities to be the best person I can be. My daughter will come around when she is ready. Sometimes it's their issues they need help with and not just you. A very big hug to you.
9:34 am
I haven't been here for awhile, but this post really struck me. I can so identify with what Jen is going through. I suffered with a lot of rejection/abandonment issues growing up and this feels like an old wound reopening. My own baby that I gave birth to. The little girl that I loved with everything I had and who told me she loved me like that too! She has also attached herself to a friend's Mom and gives me reminders of it as often as she can showing me how easily I was replaced.Wow…it is a very hard pill to swallow. My saving grace is my other kids who love me and treat me with respect. If I didn't have them I would probably be posting about a nervous breakdown too. It is SO hard…probably our biggest loss in life, but we are worthy of so much more. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
6:13 am
Thanks again for your kindness… I tried to go to the doctor but he does not understand. I somehow someway have got to get out of this dark hole I am in…I am going to nursing school an we are on break and I have got to get mentally stable before school resumes… it just hurts alot to know that you are not important to anyone even your only child…God Bless you ladies
5:39 pm
Jen, we are are YOUR friends! Keep reaching out to us! We all have had pain and we all need to support each other. PLEASE go see your dr. and get help (meds if needed) and referrals to professionals who are nearby and can support you. In the meantime, keep posting! We care about you!!!
Jen said:
5:36 pm
Where is Dr. Coleman in this? I wonder if he looks at these. I think a professional needs to reach out to several on this blog, especially those like Jen who really need support from a professional right now.
3:23 pm
Jen, I am very concerned about you and I wish I was qualified to help you out of your depression. First, take one day at a time, even 5 minutes at a time. I know how difficult it is but you must try and change what you are saying to yourself. Tell yourself you will not have a nervous breakdown. Do not let what your daughter is doing control you. You will then be giving all your power away to her and that is not her right. Try to change your negative thinking to positive thinking. How you talk to yourself governs how your feel. Try to get out of the house, go to a movie or just take a walk. I find that exercising everyday does wonders for your mind. It gets those "feel good" endorphins going. Treat yourself to your favorite food. Do something special just for you. I know that you may not feel like doing any of this but just give it a try. I also receive a Positive Minute message from the Hour of Power every morning which helps me start out the day on a positive note. You can sign up for free at http://www.hourofpower.org. These suggestions may not be enough for you right now as I feel you really need someone to talk to personally. Can you see your Dr. and get a recommendation? Dr. Coleman can you do anything to help Jen? I will pray for you. I wish I could be of more help to you.
8:13 pm
Thank you for your concern…I have no one to talk to and no support. I have done nothing but cry for the last two days and I just feel like I am so tired of my life. I have had nothing but pain and abandonment my whole life and now my only child has thrown me away. I should be used to this but it hurts so bad..I see no light in my future I keep looking but there is none..I just want some peace. Thanks again for your time and kindness.
11:44 am
Jen,
My mantra is the 23rd psalm. The Lord is my Shepard. I am not a religious nut but do rely heavily on my religious training. I get comfort knowing I have someone looking over me and my ups and downs.
I am so over catering to our ED. I pray for you. No one has the right to sink us into despair.
You will be in my thoughts now and in the coming days.
9:14 am
Dear Jen, I care how you feel. I have been in the same place as you are now. I am concerned about you and would like to know if you have anyone close to you that you can talk to about it. Are you able to call Dr. Coleman? No one should suffer like we on these forums have and are suffering. First, I would not respond to her Facebook message. Do not give her the satisfaction. It makes no sense why our children treat us in such a cruel and nasty manner other than they are insensitive and only thinking of themselves and obviously have issues that they are not dealing with. I have to keep reminding myself that their treatment and behavior does not define me and I will not give them the power to destroy me. That is not their right. Please be loving to yourself, especially in how you speak to yourself. Remind yourself that you are and were a good mother and person and most of all do not blame yourself. Remember all of us on this forum care about you and I pray that you will feel better. It is not easy and is filled with ups and downs but we must not let them take over. My thoughts are with your grandpa also. I wish you peace and strength in dealing with this profound problem.
8:34 pm
This day started out good got my books for school and then went to work..came home and my daughter has sent me a Facebook message an all it said was a ? mark but in her picture on there it had her and my granbaby an the friends mom and their family in all Christmas clothes…who does this, why are they more important than me? why does she get the joy of watching my grand baby grow up? why am I such a piece of shit ? Then I am having a breakdown because of that and I didn't reply….. but then my gpa called me and was rushed to the hospital and is in ICU… I swear if something bad happens to him and I cant take much more ..I feel like I am about ready to crack.. I did everything for my daughter while she was growing up..and the last 5 years have been bad….I was not even included in my grandaughters first birthday..she had her friends mom throw it and I was so heartbroken..this lady knows how much it hurts me an how much I love my dauhgter an granbaby because I told her… but no one cares how I feel…I am really going to have a breakdown..sorry to ramble
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