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It hurts
March 1, 2012
10:37 am
Carolyn, too
Guest

Sorry, I see that I didn't complete the quote in my previous post. It is "Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it."

March 1, 2012
10:05 am
Carolyn, too
Guest

Carolyn said:

Yes, parenting can be absolutely full of rewards with so much love….and, following so closely parenting can be the most heartbreaking experience that life will ever give us.

For so many of us we have allowed our adult children to cause us to feel that we deserve their punishment and estrangement from them and our grandchildren. This could be true in some situations, if I knew what the problem (s) are….it seems that we could talk about them and resolve some of the pain that we all experience.

In my case, I may never have the opportunity to have the love of my daughter and grandchildren. My daughter is not interested in me and I am so afraid to say much to her about our estrangement with fear that I may never hear from her again.


It has been a while since I have posted on the forum but was taken back by your post, Carolyn. I am a Carolyn, too. Your post was as though I had written it as I also have a daughter and granddaughter that I am estranged from and just received devastating news this weekend that she moved back to CA back in August when I was made to believe that we would be able to go to family therapy here in AZ when she was ready. I went through the hurt of the email but after reading over my material from Dr. Coleman's seminar on "What could they be thinking" I realized that this is what she needs to do for her own autonomy. While I do not agree with some of the accusations she has made after going to three therapists, I know that trying to defend them is not what she wants to hear right now. I have learned to lovingly "let go" and give her the space she needs. I told her I respect her need for her freedom and that the door will always be open when she is ready and that I love her. My unconditional love for my children is what is I hold on to as that will never change no matter how they treat me. The pain is so deep but I will not let it define me. I have learned to give to others who do want me in their lives and it is rewarding to be of help to others. I pray for all of us who suffer as it is the most devastating pain a mother can bear when all we want for our children is love and happiness. At the same time we can not allow them to disrespect us just because they are having issues in their lives. It is so sad that they no longer hold on to the true meaning of family, unconditional love. I received a very meaningful quote today from a friend. "Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem." May we all hold on to our self respect. Peace to all.

February 29, 2012
8:25 pm
Patti
Guest

I feel terrible and distraught tonight…I cry and hurt for all of us….I just don't understand how this could be happening to me, to us! I am so devastated I can't think, eat or sleep. Carolyn said:

Yes, parenting can be absolutely full of rewards with so much love….and, following so closely parenting can be the most heartbreaking experience that life will ever give us.

For so many of us we have allowed our adult children to cause us to feel that we deserve their punishment and estrangement from them and our grandchildren. This could be true in some situations, if I knew what the problem (s) are….it seems that we could talk about them and resolve some of the pain that we all experience.

In my case, I may never have the opportunity to have the love of my daughter and grandchildren. My daughter is not interested in me and I am so afraid to say much to her about our estrangement with fear that I may never hear from her again.


February 29, 2012
8:12 pm
Carolyn
Guest

Yes, parenting can be absolutely full of rewards with so much love….and, following so closely parenting can be the most heartbreaking experience that life will ever give us.

For so many of us we have allowed our adult children to cause us to feel that we deserve their punishment and estrangement from them and our grandchildren. This could be true in some situations, if I knew what the problem (s) are….it seems that we could talk about them and resolve some of the pain that we all experience.

In my case, I may never have the opportunity to have the love of my daughter and grandchildren. My daughter is not interested in me and I am so afraid to say much to her about our estrangement with fear that I may never hear from her again.

February 29, 2012
3:24 pm
marlomum
Guest

I hurt and worry so much I feel sick in the depths of my belly.

February 21, 2012
9:46 pm
xzcwr
Guest

camisetas manchester city a su rival deportivo, centrarse en ofrecer su mejor versión en cada partido y en explotar al máximo su físico camiseta chelsea 2011 y sus mejores condiciones para la práctica del fútbol. En muchas ocasiones ha confesado que camiseta juventus ansía convertirse en el mejor futbolista de la historia. Sin embargo, debería presentarse en sociedad como Cristiano Ronaldo, uno de los mejores goleadores del siglo XXI. Cristiano Ronaldo y José camiseta de real Mourinho recogieron sendos trofeos 'Marca'

February 21, 2012
10:21 am
LemonMom
Guest

I know!!! And I think the worst of it is that we never saw it coming.

February 21, 2012
5:34 am
Elaine
Guest

Parenting can really hurt.

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