Where do I start?
I have been happily married for 28yrs, during that time my husband and I have raised 5 wonderful sons. I feel very blessed to have been given the chance and opportunity be a mother. I love all my sons, and respect that they are individuals in their own right. My husband and I have always been very supportive and encouraged our boys to make their own choices, even though at times we knew that the choices they made (in our opinion) where not always the right ones (but we always encouraged them regardless). We allowed them the freedom to grow and to develop as individual well rounded people, safe in the knowlege that they were loved and respected.
My third son Stephen and I had a very close relationship, we had the same interests and I could always depend on Stephen, he was a kind, considerate, but a very sensitive person. Five years ago he moved away from home and attended university, we were very proud of his achievements, and then he met Megan, we loved her straight away, a lovely girl very bright and bubbly. The whole family were so pleased when Stephen announced after two years that they were to get engaged, we laid on a wonderful engagement party and could not be happier for them both.
Unfortunately within a few months cracks started to appear. Megan turned out not to be the person we thought she was, and it seemed it had always been her intention to split the family. We felt stupid that we hadn't recognised problems and dealt with issues and concerns sooner. We thought we were being paranoid. Eventually after things were going too far, the whole family raised concerns to help protect Stephen, we don't regret doing this.
In the end Stephen chose his fiance over his family, she made him choose. He sent a text to my husband stating that he felt it would be better if he cut off all communication from us, but wanted to maintain contact with his his brothers (which he hasn't done). He also informed us the parents that we would not be sent an invite to the wedding next year. Within a few hours of the text being sent all family members were removed from facebook, we know his fiance did this as we know Stephen was at work at the time.
My husband responded to the text, stating that the door will always be open for him should he change his mind.
My eldest son Chris spoke to Stephen a day or two after the text message was sent, and tried to help sort the rift out, Stephen did not listen to my son. This all happened on the 5th May 2012. We all feel very sad, hurt and angry by the whole situation. We have given him space and hoped he would see sense and would have contacted us by now.
We have read various articles advising not to make contact and to give him the time and space required. The whole family (extended included) has taken this situation badly. The sad thing is I know that Stephen will be finding this situation hard, but he will have had enough of the nagging from Megan, so he probably hoped that things would settle down eventually.
Rightly or wrongly the family feels he needs to make the first move as he closed the door. I find this really hard, and just want to see him and resolve the problem. Unfortunately as time goes by, anger increases and nobody will ever trust Megan, so even if he does contact us, our family will never be the same again.
We feel very disappointed that Stephen did not stand up to Megan we would never have asked Stephen to make a choice and feel at a loss.
All our lives are going forward, there has been some recent family developments, we feel very sad that Stephen is not privy to that information.
I am at the stage now where I need to accept that it is very likely that he is not going to make any contact. I am heartbroken as I know we did nothing wrong to warrant this course of action from Stephen. I hate to say it, but I am so very sad that he ever met Megan as she has destroyed our close family unit.