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Dear Dr. Coleman,

My husband and I have been married for two years, together for five years. We have no kids. I have always ignored his laziness in the past, but over the past two years, I have become more and more irritated with his lack of help around the house. We recently purchased our first home and with this came the added responsibility of maintaining the exterior of a house, which he has had little or no contribution in doing. So far, seasons have past and the gutters have not been cleaned. The grass has been cut only once last summer. Our house is impeccably clean, but that is due to a “system” I have developed for myself, which includes picking up after myself. My husband has never cleaned a toilet in his life. If he does help around the house, he only does "fun stuff", and if I force him to do something (i.e. taking out the garbage), he laments and complains during the whole time, out loud. He sighs and struggles with the task and gives up many times before finally doing it. When he does fun stuff (for example, he might spend three hours re-organizing his office, while I spend the same amount of time cleaning our home or working in the yard), at the end of the day, when the work is done, he'll high-five me and say "great team work!" My husband also doesn't wake up in the morning unless I ask him to wake up about five times. He's in his mid thirties and an alarm will not wake him up. There have been a few times when I have blown up and told him, in tears, that I need his help around the house. Those times have resulted in apologies from him, and a few chores being done, but then things return to usual. Lately, he has been talking about having kids, but I'm afraid I can't move on to the next stage in life unless I start seeing a significant contribution on his part in the household. Should I give him an ultimatum; tell him that I’m not willing to have kids with him until he can prove to me that he will be involved in raising them and taking care of them, through maintaining and taking care of our home? I would appreciate any advice you can give me on my situation! Thank you!