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Running on empty – this is so very true! We were such zombies due to no sleep when our twins were little, and barely able to cope with life's stresses. I can see why so many couples struggle while parenting multiples; our marriage was pushed to the very brink. I will say that it is so good that time marches on, and one week they hold their bottles, the next month, they can use a spoon, and then one day you notice they are playing together and not putting chokables in their mouth, and suddenly, one day, they want to put on their own clothes or become trained. Eventually they are more self-sufficient and it gets much much more fun. If you come out of that together your marriage will hopefully be stronger with time. My biggest pieces of advice for the marriage is to: (i) be selfless, of course, but that can take such an act of will sometimes when you are tired; (ii) teach your multiples independence early, it will save you, and (iii) be kind to your spouse, which can mean holding your tongue when you want to scream. As soon as you can, put dates, exercise, back into your life. it will help a lot. I found talking to moms of other twins helped a lot, to know i was not alone. Parents of singletons simply cannot understand the first year.

Dr. Joshua Coleman said:

Running on Empty with Twins
Parenting young twins is stressful on a marriage, in part, because we have so little to draw from. Less sleep, money, time, and resources of about every shape and size. A healthy relationship requires being good at being assertive and selfless. If you’re not assertive, your partner may take advantage of whatever weakness there is in the system to catch up on much-needed sleep, relaxation, work or exercise. Not because he is a bad person, but because he’s as desperate for replenishment as you are. If you’re not sufficiently selfless, you’ll run over your partner with your needs and create resentment.