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Recent Appearances
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When Mom Earns More than Dad
NPR Talk of the Nation: How women’s increased economic and educational power are changing marriage.
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On Point: Tom Ashbrook Interviews Dr. Coleman and NYU Sociologist Kathleen Gerson
NPR: Tom Ashbrook interviews Dr Coleman and Kathleen Gerson on “Women Bringing Home the Bacon”
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PBS Life Part 2: Cut Off from the Grandkids
PBS Life Part 2: Boomer Grandparenting
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NY Times: Working Women Say Their Marriage Is Richer For It
NY Times: Working Women Say Their Marriage Is Richer For It
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NPR On Point with Tom Ashbrook
NPR On Point with Tom Ashbrook
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When Mom Earns More than Dad
Forum
Must we tell the children the divorce is a mutual decision?
March 5, 2010
Robin
I recently saw your appearance on ABC-TV where you stated that it is important for both parents, no matter what the circumstances leading to deciding to divorce, to tell the children it is a mutual decision. I can understand your reason for this yet I have this question. For me, choosing to divorce is a destruction of a child's safe, protected, secure world of a stable family. I would like them to think that at least one of the most important people in their lives would not choose to do that to them but sought to preserve their world as they knew it. I do not want them to be angry at their father, I would seek to encourage their relationship as much as I am able. But somehow making it appear as if we are both willingly breaking up their home makes me feel they are left feeling that their security is not important enough to either one of their parents. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this. Thank you.