Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all the estranged Grandparents, Eight months ago I first posted on this forum for support groups for estranged grandparents and just recently I have been able to have some form of contact by Facetime with my twin 9 year old grandsons and daughter. It has been four years since I have been with them. I am so thankful for the connection that I have and pray that with baby steps and time our relationship will improve. I still do not have much connection with my other daughter and 18 year old granddaughter. It has been three years. It saddens me so to see that in eight months there have been over 20,000 views on this forum and 6,000 of those have been in just the last few weeks. So, so many hurting grandparents. This should not be and it is not normal. Not only are we suffering but unfortunately our dear grandchildren are missing out on so much and they have no say in it. I want to say that you should never give up, continue to hope and pray and keep sending those cards and gifts to your grandchildren (as long as they are not returned). They will know that you never gave up on them and that they are special. Treat yourself well and love yourself. Do not let your estranged adult children's treatment define who we are. Give your time and love to those who want you in their lives. Wishing you all a peaceful and harmonious holiday and a better 2014. Take care, Carolyn
My name is Jay and I was reading all your comments and just sat here crying. How in this day and age, must we go through this after having given our children the best.
My daughter who is 45y/o has for reasons unknown to me, threw her loving husband out of her home, sold her house, friendship with a no-good sort of man, told me to get out of her life or she will call the Police to take a AVO against me and her husband of 20 years. This has all come to me as a great shock. My daughter was the most beautiful child I know, loving, beautiful, respectable, caring, perfect wife and mother and the most wonderful daughter. I had a call from her accusing me of being the cause of her life failure.
I left her abusive father after 30 years of marriage and remarried 16 years ago. She has despised my husband from the day she heard that I was getting married. She has threatened me over the years and kept the grandchildren from seeing me, unless I left him and came to live with her. She has started drinking a lot and became abusive with my partner. I could never have gone back to live with her, I had my own life to live. She started to put the children up against me especially the 18 year old. This child has grown up seeing her mothers' anger and now hates me as well as my husband. My children have always been the centre of my life. I have not seen them for 3 moths and all this has now left me empty. I cry everyday and feel like I have lost my children. She told me once the house is sold, I will never see her or the grandchildren again.
I have prayed so hard and cried to the Lord to intervene and help me. What do I do?
I just wanted to say that I to lost contact with my granddaughter nearly 7 years ago now, and I had to turn a negative into a positive and so I set up Bristol Grandparents Support Group in the UK, I to date have been contacted by over one thousand grandparents national and globally.
I would be happy to give support if anyone is thinking of setting up a group.
Our group has no membership fee and is non profit making, we are an independent group and not affiliated to any other organisation.
Hi I have read the above and I also am Estranged from my Daughter and SIL and am unable to see my grandchildren. My oldest Granddaughter who is 16 now called and asked for money just this past friday night. There was so much anger in her I could hear it! She has been through so much since she was a baby! I tore me apart to say no to her as I didn't like the story I was hearing and I didn't want to give her money behind her mothers back! I know I was right. Her Dad pasted when she was 2 years old and we have been very close until her step father cause alot of problems and hence the estrangement! I miss them so very much and find it very hard to go forth each day! But I do and I have found so many people men and women alike going through the same issues. Going to check in to starting a support group here. Maybe that will give me a reason to fight on! A friend of mine is also going through the same thing with all 3 of her children so we are going to fight together and see where we can go. Grandparents have to have some rights. Well Blessings to all. We all need to stand together and show a united front. Prayers to all!
Brenda, My heart goes out to you and I know exactly the pain you are going through. I have not seen my twin 9 year old grandsons for three years. I am thankful I do receive thank you notes for gifts and yearly pictures but to not be able to hug and kiss them and be a part of their lives and see them grow and change is a pain that is indescribable. I also have not seen my 18 year old granddaughter from another estranged daughter for almost three years. She had been such a big part of my life before all the problems started. It is so painful not being able to see her graduate and watch her grow into a young lady. I continue to pray and hold on to hope that there will be a breakthrough one day. That seems to be all we can do since it is out of our control. Let go and Let God. I pray for you and all the grandparents who are suffering so that you may find peace and harmony in your lives. Reach out to those who love and care about you.
Thanks Carolyn for this information. I will look up that website and try to gain some more insight. My husband and I are unable to see our 3 grandchildren because my daughter and SIL are not speaking to us. She is in fact, using them as a weapon and holding them hostage from us. Absolutely heartbreaking.
For those of us who are suffering not only from being estranged from our adult children but also having to bear the excruciating pain of not being able to be a part of our grandchildrens' lives. I found a website: http://www.aga-fl.org Alienated Grandparents Anonymous with a wealth of informative and encouraging articles from Drs. and Counselors and a list of support groups in the USA. Our grandchildren are suffering much like we are as they have no control over what is happening in their lives also. While it is now considered by many Drs. and Counselors as \"elder abuse\" what we are going through with our estranged children it is also considered \"child abuse\" what is happening to the grandchildren. They are the innocent ones and are having to bury their emotions why they no longer see their Grandma or Grandpa. What is going on in these little ones' minds? They at their young age should not have to suffer with those kinds of issues. Older grandchildren should not have to stop communicating with their grandparents just to show loyalty to their parents and keep peace. All of this is not normal or healthy for our grandchildren. We as Grandparents need to be the Voice for our Grandchildren and help get the information out to the proper people. This website is a non-profit group that is working towards helping both the Grandparents and Grandchildren. While Estrangement with Adult Children is becoming epidemic along with that comes the unfortunate and sad epidemic of Estranged Grandparents and Grandchildren that is a snow-balling effect of a decision made by those out of our control. I pray that we can find peace in helping our loving and innocent grandchildren. May I also wish you all a Mother's Day where you will treat yourself well and be gentle to yourselves reminding yourself what a good Mother and Person you are and were. Please forgive yourselves for any mistakes you have made as we are all human and imperfect. Most of all, forgive and love those that have hurt us as that is what we would want from them also. Take care.
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