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My youngest son, 25yrs old has not spoken to me since last April 2007, and my oldest son 32 yrs old holds my grand daughter hostage so I have to tip toe around him or I will not be able to see her.
My son never married my granddaughters mother. They were only together for 6-8 months before she became pregnant. Story to long to go into but the bottom line is that I am not allowed to speak with the baby’s mother because then my son feels I am being disloyal and the only way I get to see or speak to her is throuhg him. I feel so very powerless. They are in an ugly custody fight and my heart is breaking. I helped bring this little girl up for the 1st 2 years of her life because they stayed at my house when they had no where to live, and then I had her every other weekend when they broke up and he had visitation. Once he got a new girlfried and an apartment i was history. If I am lucky he has her call me when he has her and she always asks if she can come and stay “alot of nights” with me. My son feels she needs to learn that she stays with mommy and she stays with daddy but just visits grandma.
I am struggling to hold my temper because I do not want to jepordize what connection I do have with her but my patience is running thin and am considering my options i.e. go around him to have a relationship with her or try going through the courts while they are in a custody battle and Emma has been appointed an law gaurdian. 
Has anyone had any expierence they can share around this with me? Since one son doesn’t speak to already I know trying to go around him will result in him not speaking to me either. HELP……