So many of the parents I work with either have no idea why their child is behaving like they are, or why they need to respond to their feelings by estranging the parent.
Estrangement evokes powerful feelings of sadness, loss, anger, guilt and helplessness. Often, a parent’s very well-intended behavior can make the situation worse. Many parents complain that when it comes to their adult children, they’re damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.
Dr. Coleman was asked by CNN.com to write a piece about the parents of Jared Loughner and other parents who have had similar kinds of struggles. Here it is:
What if he were your kid? You wouldn’t raise that kind of kid. You’d know the signs and get help. You’d have spotted it early on and gotten help for him right away. You would’ve seen the warnings and acted before it became the national tragedy that it did. Good parents don’t raise those kinds of kids.
But, what if you’re a good parent and you didn’t see the signs and you did raise that kind of kid, or at least some kid like that? Read More »
Dr. Joshua Coleman is an internationally known expert in parenting, families, and relationships. He is Co-Chair of the Council on Contemporary Families and is a psychologist with a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area.